Torchwood

When Diva sends me the photos, I will blog about the party this weekend, the one where I went as a bunny, the playboy one that is, and no don't get all woo haa, I didn't show any leg.

But right now...Torchwood. I like Doctor Who. I like Torchwood now too, and I hope it takes off.

Ahem, this is one reason:

The Scottish-born American hearthrob John Barrowman. His style of teaching Gwen how to shoot a gun today had me all hot n flustered!

Oh dadgumit! In my searching I have just discovered he is "openly gay" and has a long-term partner. It's always the way, isn't it?

Still, I can dream about a lovely strong manly man with his arms around me, can't I?

poesie impromptu

Three poems long hidden away on my dusty old Motime blog, so neglected that although I have wanted to share them all summer, I wasn't bothered to go and get them! I can only write poems when I have an overflow of emotion or heartache.

_____________

1) Written during recovery from disappointment - I will never forget the day I first had that feeling...


FIRST DESIRE

As I watched summer breezes play among the leaves
I realised
I wanted him

I never wanted anyone before
Stirrings of first desire
An aching deep inside

But
Like leaves under an autumn frost
It died a slow and painful death

(February 2006)

**********

2) The initial lashing out after said disappointment...

empty

modern mercenary emotional pirates
unforgiving hearts of stone
marching on and on
unbending, unyielding, un...

(October 2005)

**********

3) And this one I ran across I know not where, while still feeling low . Thank you Mary, you speak for us all:

He knows not that the dead are thine

The weapon that you fought with was a word,
And with that word you stabbed me to the heart.
Not once but twice you did it, for the sword
Made no blood start.

They have not tried you for your life. You go
Strong in such innocence as men will boast.
They have not buried me. They do not know
Life from its ghost.

--Mary Coleridge

About time

About time something showed up on this blogspace...

We are having some exciting thunder and lighting in London tonight! When we were in Texas, Dad and I used to call it "London Frightening".

This weekend, I went to Reading again to see Diva and Nags and Amy, and we all went to Sunny's wedding. It rained a lot. It was cute, there were fireworks outside at the reception, between the rainshowers, of course.

OWWWW I just hit my elbow on the corner of my laptop when I got up to look out the window.

I lost a gold earring today and didn't even know it. But enough about earrings.

And what else...?

Today I had loads of waking dreams while I was fighting the afternoon drowsiness. Each time it happens I ought to write it down. They are just unrelated snapshots and flashbacks.

Ooh thunderbolts RIGHT outside the house! Three of them! My room rocked!

Nite y'all.

Lost Umbrella...

Today at House of Fraser I bought a summer dress, four cute warm tops, and a pair of shoes for under 100 pounds.
255 down to 99, can you beat that?

Coincidentally, everything was French except for one top which was Danish, and the shoes. They were Carvela, but that is apparently under the Kurt Geiger umbrella. I have just learned he is Austrian but based in London. Now that is my brain cell used for the day.

The dress was siiiiiii francaiiiiiis! Cripes, now you are going to ask me for a piccie.

It was funny though, I put it on and all I could think of was summer in Paris and when I checked the label it even said made in France. That was the best deal, it was 60 originally, then half price which I reluctantly relented on, but at the counter as she scanned and folded, the conversation went like this:
"And this is 12."
"What???"
"12 pounds. I know, it's nice to be surprised at the till."

But patience mes amis, today you have the earrings and the shoes:

All the buttons I wore on Wednesday



I love buttons!
Speaking of steals, that satin-lined velvet jacket was a steal last year from 98 down to 48 then 25, and at the till, 22.50!


The Gibraltar glass earrings from Mum that you've all been asking to see



I lost the paper but I gathered that in a special process the glass is bombarded with mineral molecules. Here you see a golden pink, if I turn they will be any colours you want them to be...
Guess how much?*


The pointy new Carvelas with my clumpy old Kenneth Coles



I couldn't bear to part with them, but I never thought I would ever find that deep red again. And lo and behold! Plus I can actually wear the new ones with skirts and they even make trousers more feminine. Still, not letting go of the KCs until the hairline cracks start peeling or something! Seven years on, they are still the only shoes that get the "nice shoes" comment out of random people.

What colour would you say they are?

And the only reason I went to the shop was to reclaim an umbrella I had left at the Biotherm counter the day before.**

Look at the time, I'm off to bed!

* earrings 10 euros
** Finally found a foundation and powder that control my oily skin.

Boo, guess who?

Hello my dear readers,

I have been away for so long that I have forgotten how to blog. Lost that chatty feeling.

So here is the update:

1) When I came home tonight I thought I would still be numbered among those poor Orange customers who have had no internet for two days. I would have done a really short blog via my phone email...because I missed you all.

2) For the past few days (I got Friday off), I have been in the blissful company of my dear mother. We walked about arm in arm, shopping, browsing, gossiping, laughing, nagging, rolling eyes, and laughing again. We ate all sorts of wonderful food, including fancy dim sum at Yauatcha, followed by tea and cakes. Orchid tea - the last two times I was there, they had none. And my yum Shanghai Lily cake of course.

You know how it is when you don't live at home anymore and you see your parents after a long while, as desperately as you wanted to see them, they've got these idiosyncracies, the ones you forgot about. We're still on the same wavelength on many things, but then there are the things they do or say that make you wonder how you are related - but I guess that is how families evolve.

3) I have permission to take my leave and go to Canada on the 19th of December. My mother wants me to stay for a month. Furthermore, my father invited both of us to spend Christmas with him in Calgary. We miss him...it was nice of him to ask.

4) I got my flu vaccination today. I scratched my name off the office list for the 17th of November. I probably would have caught it by then!

5) My mother brought me the coolest pair of glass earrings from Gibraltar. She had been on a trip there with two of her sisters. The earrings are bombarded by minerals and look like pieces of pure iridescence, changing colour from one moment to the next. In fact, they are now officially cooler than my Murano glass earrings...

That's all for now, folks!

Farewell Arts Club

Looks like I am down to blogging twice a week.

This may be the last time you hear about the Arts Club, I am afraid. I am not renewing my membership - in fact as a parting gift, it was extended specially so that I could have a farewell dinner there with my allotted 6 guests. It was to be a bit of a Christie's alumni reunion with Miss S, Rox, Tom, Rebecca and her beau Giu, plus my cousin James. But Tom and James could not be tracked down, Rox is in Switzerland again, and Giu was stuck at work.

So it was just me with Rebecca and Miss S.
We enjoyed a three-course meal. Rebecca chose a nice bottle of Claret for us.
And it was such a pleasant evening, full of tinkling laughter and sparkling conversation. Even Miss S showed a more lively side, though that may have been the wine.

I know I promised some of you a description, so if I can remember what I ate, I will tell you.
1) pate en croute with pear chutney.
2) roast pheasant with roast autumn veg, one of them was a nice crispy toasted leaf...and there was something (perhaps the giblets) in a vol au vent.
3) Paris Brest Praline in a creme anglaise sauce - hey I remembered that one. Very hazelnutty.

Apparently, there was a banquet in the dining room with all the big players in the arts world (hello!), including Princess Margaret's daughter (I knew she was one of the little bridesmaids at Charles and Diana's wedding but forgot her name was Sarah Armstrong Jones. Yeah I know, don't worry.)

So we ate in the Bar/Bistro upstairs and after dinner I showed the girls the cosy drawing room where the recitals take place.

To tell you the truth, as much as I have enjoyed my membership, I never took full advantage of it. More often than not, friends and I end up in Chinatown eating dim sum. I find myself in Mayfair/Piccadilly less often than I once did, and I can't justify renewing. I have other things to do now, and priorities change.

But I am glad I could take you all along for a year :)

Late Poetry Day entry

I was unable to participate in Thursday's abundance of poetry, so Panda said it would be extended to the weekend for me. :)

I dusted off all my poetry collections and looked at all the poems I liked in school. I find them very sentimental and touching, but a bit too morbid for my current situation. Then I took another look at e. e. cummings, whom I could not understand when I was young -- neither his words nor his odd unpunctuated rhythms. But I am older and wiser now, so here is one of his:

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

**********

And one of mine from 1998, when I was ending a few years of unrequited love:

You shine like a star,
.....but distance dims the light.
You offer me words,
.....but I cannot see your face.
I listen to your voice,
.....but I cannot hear your heart.
I reach for your hand,
.....but I find it withdrawn.

So I watch
and I wait
and I wish.....

That I might bask in the glow of your love,
gaze into the depths of your eyes,
feel the warmth of your heart,
and place my hand in yours.

A Blog Meme

Quick update:

I have bought two size 8 trousers from Principles . Mmm nice and comfy, well styled, and I can sit down without the fear of popping a button. I've just found out they won awards for the best petites range. This is no surprise - of all I have tried, this is my favourite.

If you want to know what I did this weekend, plus video show, go to Diva. She did the work already, bless her bum (to borrow a phrase of hers). If you're too lazy to clicky the linky, Diva, Amy and I went to Sunny's Hen Do in Surrey. Back at Nags and Diva's later that night, we had lots of food, and played Snakes and Ladders with shot glasses. In the morning Diva made scones, which we ate with clotted cream and jam!

**********

I have been tagged by Hoverfrog and Sunny, and probably someone else I forgot.*

*All people named above are P27ers, former 20sixers.

Why do you blog?

I like to share my experiences, stories, silly or deep thoughts, and the increasingly occasional factual post.

How long have you been blogging?

Since Feb 2005 on Blogger, Aug 2005 on 20six (now defunct), and June 2006 on P27.

Self Portrait.

A real painting I saw at Christie's this summer called "Making Friends". It depicts a little country lass looking just like me as a girl, kneeling in the grass and leaning towards a handful of rabbits who are stretching towards her with curiousity in their noses.

Why do readers read your blog?

Some for a culture fix. Others just because they're used to me now and want to know what I've been up to. And a few others who know me in real life and keep up with the events we don't cover on the phone. Have I missed anyone?

What was the last search phrase someone used to find your site?

I don't know about P27, but on Blogger it was "Olivia Raise Chocolate" on Google France. I come up twice as number 2 and 3 on the search page. What is that about?

Which of the entries gets unjustly too little attention?

That's something I do not remember.

Your current favourite blog?

Cuteoverload.com, notice I am completely escaping the onus of choosing between real bloggers!

Which blog did you read most recently?

Can't remember, starting to fall asleep now. Someone on Blogger, possibly Pandy.

Which feeds do you subscribe to?

None, no point.

Which 4 blogs are you tagging with this meme and why?

Anyone who wants to do this, just jump right in.

Rarrr!

This morning I had a bugger of a commute. Nearly an hour, which is double the usual. By way of concession, I fully realise that an hour is an easy commute for many, but time is relative, remember.

So the first train never showed up, and the St John's Wood platform only gets that crowded when there's a cricket match on. When it did come, I couldn't get on the first three. I do hate it when people behind you slip round and find a spot that you didn't think existed. The last lady's bag got stuck in the door anyway.

Once I did gain a place, I found myself hanging onto the same pole as a.....oh, a Polish couple (sorry). They kissed all the way from SJW to Baker Street (one of the Underground's longer stretches). Pooch, pooch, arm around waist, whisper, pooch, pooch. Her hand forgets to hold onto the pole and slips onto the top of mine. (That was an extra niggly bit for me.)

I SWEAR I wanted to throttle them and step on their toes really hard!!! I have nothing against a certain amount of PDA, and theirs was of a nice sort, really. But not that much, in a crammed train. And the LAST thing I want to see when I am disgustingly single AND suffering from Pre Menstrual doo dah is KISSING! Thank God he got out at Baker Street, otherwise something would have gone wrong before Bond Street.

When I got to Bond Street, same waiting game, same not getting onto train. And then we all squished in again, and man! Do some people's jackets smell manky or what??? Some of them mix it with aftershave/perfume, and others don't. Either way, ugh!

**********

Anyway, I spent the morning trying to forget it all by updating the database, but then my mood would flare up every now and then.

It didn't help that I was complaining inwardly at the total heads-down attitude of the office. Even though my two colleagues and I had little to do, we had only one conversation about neglected pets, other than the odd comment about rain or boredom. At one point, the receptionist came over for colleague N, whispered her name, handed her the package, and N whispered half a thanks.

The most exciting things that happened were:

1) somebody's stacking tray fell off the edge of the desk on the other side of the office, and

2) a colleague went over to the lunch department to complain about them sending us menus from the same deli two days in a row.

3) Fed up with my brie and bacon toastie, I decided to be adventurous and order the curry and rice for tomorrow.

I got off earlyish because it really had been a slow day, and I found a very nice black wool coat with a velvet collar, belt and buttons, totally by accident. It didn't cheer me all the way up, and I still had to have a bit of a rant to my darling Mumsy on the phone. Then I got an email from my favourite male soprano, who always radiates a bit of sunshine, so that helped a bit. I will have to tell you about him sometime, won't I? My blog generates serendipity, you see.

Time for beddy-byes now.

Precious Previous weekend

It was really great to see Haruko after all these years. We got on as though we had never been apart. We are both only children and share surprisingly similar tastes and views about life.


Saturday we went shopping on Regents and Oxford Streets, ate dim sum in Chinatown, and had tea and dessert at Yauatcha in Soho. She had brought a class photo and we tried to remember the names of all the girls...who had saggy socks or side ponytails, the names of our teachers, and how Miss Roberts ruled with an iron fist.

Sunday, neither of us felt well - she with a dodgy tum, and me with the usual pounding headache. We both took naps and she came over to see me at home around 3pm where we looked at photos and smelled perfumes and girlie things like that. Then we went for a walk in Regent's Park and even made it as far as the Queen Mary Rose Garden where we took lots of photos of roses.

Monday and Tuesday she went to Edinburgh to see her old university chums.

On Wednesday evening she came to the City, where she had wanted to hear evensong at St Paul's because she likes organ music. Then I took her to le Coq d'Argent at Poultry where we had rooftop views over the City, and enjoyed a cocktail. After that we went up to Finchley Road where we had Indian food at a restaurant I know, and the manager told me he hadn't seen me in months.

She thanked me for being her friend and being so kind all those years ago. When I visit her in Tokyo one day, she will take me to Kyoto.

On Wednesday evening, she wished she could stay another week. Two and a half days were totally not enough to catch up on 18 years!

**********

I promise there will be better pictures when she sends the ones she took :)



St Paul's Cathedral - 4.21pm, Monday 25th September





A very old top (gift from Lydia) paired with a skirt I bought when Haruko and I went clothes shopping!





Haruko after Dim Sum in Chinatown (her choice)




She gave me a pretty little phone charm...




...and a green tea canister with pretty sweets, including a sugar rabbit, in a gift basket...




...and really good incense. Check out all the rabbits here too...

I'd love to say more, but am yawning my head off and haven't even packed for the weekend. I had to blog about last weekend before experiencing this weekend!

Kali nichta

24 hours

This space is reserved for a post about last weekend that I have been meaning to write all week, but there are not enough hours in the day!

Maybe tomorrow...

Love

Yesterday morning, in Canada, my cousin Alyssa's boyfriend died of a brain aneurysm. He was 25.

I've known Alyssa since she was a tiny little thing. She is very tall now, so I am her "little big sister". We are 7 years apart, so when she reached the age where we could talk as equal adults, she was so honoured to tell me things, but still when I see her she wraps her long arms one and a half times round my waist.

Right now I am hurting for her so badly. After a string of awful boyfriends, she finally found the right one. They were friends for 6 years before even going out this year. She is 3 months pregnant, and they were talking about getting married someday. I cried my heart out for her last night. She is grieving, like a widow, my little Lala.

Before, I was going to Canada at Christmas to hug her and see her tummy. Now I just want to hold my little cousin close to my heart.

The stuff I don't tell you

A bit of an odd week after the last nice blog. Here's the stuff I don't tell you all. I guess I am just used to living with it and no one ever knows unless I live with them. It's dysautonomia, an imbalance of the nervous system that can interfere with activities, sometimes whenever it wants to, so it's disruptive, but not pervasive like ME or CFS. I'll tell you more some other time.

It's been a drag to get out of bed this week because I'm back to having tired achy bones and they feel so heavy when I get out of bed. They bothered me yesterday and I spent the afternoon fidgeting in my seat.

Wednesday, my alarm was going off for 10 minutes before I heard it. Then I hit the wrong button and slept for another half hour. Woops.
When that happens, I just eat breakfast later at the office.

Had a headache in the afternoon, but mostly mid-morning was feeling nauseous enough to get sweaty palms. It had passed by lunch, so I managed to eat my hot wrap, which wasn't that great anyway.
Then my boss told me to go out and take a walk and get some fresh air!
When I came back I felt normal and she asked if I felt better, and I said "Yes, much better thanks!" with so much sparkle that she thought I was being facetious. But I did have a spring back in my step.

At about 4, she told me I could leave half an hour early. Valuable time because I had errands to run. I had made an attempt Wednesday but the shops I wanted were closed by the time I got there.

So today at Butler & Wilson, I bought a wee handheld mirror with finely worked enamel flowers and foliage and two ladybirds on the back. And so nicely gift-wrapped. They do that without asking.

Who for?

A friend I have not seen in 18 years. When I was 10 or 11, we had an expat student from Japan at St Andrew's. She was so shy she did not speak.
This didn't work for the original girl she was assigned to, so she was reassigned to me. Our desks were in pairs, so we generally hung out in that configuration too, and Haruko and I were inseparable. We communicated by scribbling in our Rough Books, so we got through them pretty fast but the teachers were understanding as they knew H was too shy to speak.

The year I moved to America, Haruko cried a lot, and finally her parents sent her to a Japanese school.

A few years after discovering the Internet, I Yahoo!ed for her name, but there were too many directories full of people with that name. Then, last year she Googled my name and found me through my blog! :)

**********

Oh lookie, I forgot to give you the Sikh wedding links from last month. Here, and then it's off to bed for me.



[1.54 min]

Or if that doesn't work:
Bhangra Drummers





[1.21 min]

Or:
Sikh Dancers

eyes shutting

Olivia signing off

Last Week in Pictures

The infamous Bag Tag bag when it is full, with pashmina on top so it doesn't close. But it is still really handy!





Rebelling from the City suitiness or even hint of a suit, back in my arts world West End ensemble.





I rarely do polka dots...these ones work for me, though. It's a bit retro specially with the pearls, which are real by the way and cost 10 quid and come from Nepal.





These are the comfy American shoes I wore when I walked across London after work for an hour and a half. I wish I had them in black too. My English shoes give me blisters and hurt my soles.






Seen on my long walk that evening. One of the many quirky Tudor constructions wedged between later buildings on Fleet Street.





A pretty red strawberry after lunch at the office. The sunshine streaming through the window made it glow and I had to capture it before eating it.





The worst toe popout so far. Even when I got to the office in the morning, the left ladder was visible past my shoe. It was my first day wearing them.





My unusual pewter and enamel brooch from a Carnaby Street boutique. Worn on a dress down Friday when I splash out into colour.



And the best for last:


My window companion, St Paul's Cathedral with the sun right above the cross on the cupola on the dome. taken with a special effect on my phonecam.

Nite nite.

Week so far

Once again, all the interesting bloggy things I wanted to tell you about have left my mind. So I will just catch you up on my week so far.

On Monday I went to work. Here in London it was partly cloudy and got to 30C (about 88F), and it was so lovely when I left the office that I decided to see if I could walk part of the way home, from St Paul's in the east to Bond Street in the west.

I went in a couple of circles trying to get my bearings in the City, which I am somewhat familiar with but don't visit enough, so I bumped into St Paul's Cathedral twice, after going the wrong way to the Barbican and Museum of London. I was looking for Fleet Street and think I glimpsed it from Holborn Viaduct. Eventually, I cut through Shoe Lane to Fleet Street, and rather than staying on Holborn to Oxford Street, I went down to Aldwych. I wanted to go through Covent Garden to Leicester Square, but ended up skirting past it - I could see it up the streets I passed. After a while I left deep Theatre Land and once I got to Trafalgar Square, I knew I had made it, to my old stomping grounds. I went up Haymarket to Piccadilly to Regent Street and from there up Oxford Street to Bond Street Station, where I took the Tube and went home after dark.

It took an hour and a half and was well worth it. Why is it that my American and Italian shoes are more suited to walking than my English ones??? (They give me blisters!)

Anyway, you would love the quaint architecture and the narrow, crooked little pubs along Fleet Street. Not to mention the Gothic arches of the Royal Courts of Justice and the Georgian facade of temple Bar.

I should do that walk again before the evenings draw in sooner.

I took pics to share, but it would take too long to post them.

*********

Monday, the firm had engaged a second temp for the week to ease off some of the pressure of the current project. She was called Olivia too, 32 from South Africa, married with a 10 year old daughter. From a distance she looked 10 years younger because of her freckles and snub nose. We talked about age and being only children (her daughter is), and she said I looked fantastic for my age.

Unfortunately she didn't get the hang of it and they sent her home at 4.30.

**********

Tuesday, I went to work again. Captivating, eh?
Usually I don't get a place in a crowded carriage at rush hour, but that morning I got shoved in and wedged by an old man's giant stomach. It was a proper protuberance, and boy was he grumpy. As I oozed into the carriage I knew I would get stuck. I didn't have to hold on to anything or even stand, really, because I was in that tight.

At Baker Street, people inside the carriage wanted to get out. It is common courtesy for the people on the platform to let someone back first on if they get off to make way, but that was not an issue for him. He was staying put. As people surged towards the exit and others jostled to make space and I fought to keep my footing, I looked backwards at him beseechingly but he gave me a look of defiance. At first I got a lot of dark looks until they realised it was him blocking the door.

**********

Today I went to work again (I know!), and was relieved to see the second temp had made it to her second day.

This week all the financial and economic terms are not as unfamiliar, I have more confidence to anticipate and edit what the interviewees are saying, and the annual reports are not a load of mumbo jumbo (OK, hehe, maybe they are, but I can refer to them with confidence now). I am also not as physically exhausted as I was in the first two or three weeks, although spelling can be a challenge for me at this time of night.

Oddly enough, it is not my fingers that get tired, rather it is the signal from the brain that doesn't reach my fingers properly. Brain talks and fingers go haywire, hitting keys almost at random. Good thing we have backspace and this is not on paper.

On the Tube this morning, I finally hit on the solution for being too big for my size 6 trousers (US 2) and still too small to upgrade to a size 8 (US 4 - it would be silly if I did, I shuffle around in eights like a vagrant). Anyway, the solution is to wear more skirts and dresses! It's not as if I am short of them, but I don't usually favour them for the office. However, they are more comfy to sit in. Monday I wore a skirt, and today I wore a dress.

I have thrown away two pairs of tights this week owing to my stupid toes popping out: a pair of natural sheers that I worked through on my long walk on Monday, and a pair of black holdups that I wore today, and half my feet were protruding by the time I reached the office! So on the way home I went to John Lewis for some reinforced toe tights. I keep my toenails as short as possible and smoothly filed, so it's not that. How can they sell so many non-reinforced toe tights?

Then it was on to M&S at Marble Arch for a couple of days' worth of dinner elements, and I thnk the staff recognise me now. I have been there innumerable times, but once you go to a shop regularly after work you become recognisable, even if it is only once a week. I had a great chat with the girl on checkout who asked how my day went, and wanted to know what figs taste like. By the time I left, it was raining with vigour and the bagpiper was still going strong outside Selfridges.

I had no umbrella, so my hair right now is all nice and curly-wavy in a very 1930s way, but unfortunately I have to wash it tonight.

And the thunder is most fun to listen to. Thunder in London! I looooove thunder. Mum used to say it was God moving the furniture around.
A few bursts of thunder, the clouds have opened, and now the thunder is veritably cracking across the sky!

And so I bid you goodnight.

Defense of Previous Post

SEE THIS IS WHY I DON'T WRITE ABOUT POLITICS AND AM EVEN CAREFUL WITH HISTORY!!!!

From time to time I get fed up with how PERSONALLY the Brits take Americans, like they personally came to their house and stole their garden gnome or something. Like they BEGRUDGE THEM THEIR VERY EXISTENCE.

ALL I WAS TRYING TO DO WAS LOOK FOR THE ORIGINATION OF THE AMERICAN MINDSET! FOR HEAVEN"S SAKE AND I DON"T CARE IF I AM ALL IN CAPS.

I can't include every aspect and every nuance of every position. I can't take into account everyone's history. I knew how many of you would react, BUT I am surprised AND A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED that I would have to be defended from YOU ANONANON OF ALL PEOPLE! Not nice of you at all, not nice, Anon. You have never even been to America, let alone lived there.

THANK YOU Rebecca, Rox and Matt for your understanding. We are indeed entitled to our opinions, and putting mine here naturally invited yours, but geez. I was slightly hurt all afternoon about what Anon said.

And yes, I was falling asleep as I wrote it, and I didn't want to court controversy, and I did dread what people would say. I'm not brave like Leilouta. I wish I could say I will never do this again, but I probably will, once or twice a year seems to be my limit.

I have read de Tocqueville - I own the book. I have read some of the Constitution, and I have read some of the Federalist Papers, albeit a long time ago, but I was merely looking at the surface in my short blog. Yes I know America is not an Athenian democracy, I know it is a Republic. So what. It's still really free. Why do you think so many people still want to live there, including the Brits that are hemorrhaging to America from the British Isles?

I was talking about the people who built the nation, the ideals informing the modern American, not the people whose backs they built it on. That is another story, and one which all nation builders and white men are guilty of.

As I said, Americans will never be ideologically European, so stop hating them for it. They have a different history in their blood.

And Rebecca, well said - it was British ancestors who made America what it is.

i want to go to bed...

Don't anybody blog on Tuesday, I haven't finished reading them today! *pout*

I should not be writing this, I wanna go beddy bye.

But, many of you have talked about 9/11 so I ought to acknowledge at least one event on my blog without inviting a political debate, although I did have an interesting thought while I was washing my face this morning.

America will never be like England.

America does not have an inferiority complex. It is not a nation formed out of repeated invasion;. Rather, it is a nation formed of repeated independence from colonial powers by political, religious, and social pioneers. It has won independence from England, France, Spain, and then Mexico, in parts even Germany.

It was founded on a group that desired freedom - however much that Puritanical mindset still informs the average American citizen...what is, is.

It is founded on the the pursuit of one's dreams and the definite belief that they can be fulfilled.

It WON independence from an imperial colonial power. It was founded on the fundamentals of democracy, the first one since Athens.

It is populated by people descended from tough pioneers who spent hundreds of years forging through untamed wilderness and creating civilisation in the middle of nowhere.

Stop turning up your nose at it for having "no history" - what is a 16th century town, if not historical?

Stop expecting Americans to suddenly become Europeans.

America will never be England, and yet, Americans love you Brits so much despite your sneering and condescension, so give them a chance...

**********

My recollection of 9/11.

I was in bed at my university, in Houston. It was about 7am and both my roommate and I were asleep. The phone rang, Vanessa picked it up and answered. She was confused and handed it up to me on the top bunk with the words, "It's your mom, she says turn on the TV."

I turn on the TV in time to see the second plane hit. From then on the day is a blur.

Classes are cancelled and wherever on campus or in the residence halls that there is a TV, it is on with a crowd gathered round. By lunchtime, the place is half empty. Houston has been designated a serious target with its oil reserves, and most of the local students have gone home to be with their families.

Dad calls me and says I should fill up my car before the gas stations get stampeded and run dry. I only have to wait for about 3 cars, but later the situation intensifies.

Other than that, things calm down relatively quickly as the rest of the nation focuses on New York City. One diversion is the Air National Guard planes that make regular sweeps over the skies of Houston and its outlying areas.

I do not remember if I went home, which is odd. The rest of the week on campus, we are rather subdued. We held a memorial service at the Chapel of St Basil. And all of us grew up a little bit. The whole world left yet another era of "innocence" behind.

***

Later on, we find out that three, yes three of my cousins were in the area at the time. Ironically, my cousin Sabrina who was a bank manager in the tower at the time of the 1993 bombing, left her job afterwards and moved to another bank down the road so she was certainly on hand to witness the next bombing.

My cousin Ryan, happened to be visiting one of the towers that day but was on the ground or first floors and so he got out extra quick.

But my cousin Marlon was on the 80-somethingth floor of the second tower, and disregarding everything everyone said about staying put, he grabbed his secretary's hand and immediately headed downwards. He urged his colleagues to do the same, but the time they spent gathering their belongings and being indecisive, meant that he never saw them again and lived with survivor's guilt and debilitating depression for about two years afterwards.

Amazing.

**********

The Secret Life of Bags...tag!

Have you ever thought that people who have annual salaries are paid more for the potential of what they can do, rather than what they actually do? Or you could see it as partially a retainer fee.

Those, like me, paid on an hourly basis, are rewarded for production and attendance.

So, the salaried people can pop out for a half hour and go to the post office or the bank with no loss. If I have to run an important errand, I lose money, but it must be done because everything is closed when I get out of the office.

**********

So, I am back to the days of the post-luncheon, mid afternoon slump. One of my psychology professors called it PPT: Post Prandial Torpor. He was darned right, he was.

The other day I got so sleepy that I had my second ever waking dream. My first one occurred when I was up till 7am writing a philosophy paper at university. I was typing one moment, next moment I was seeing a boy and girl leaving a shop, and the next I was looking at my computer screen again. I don't remember what this most recent waking dream was about, but I do know there were 3 elements or scenes to it.

The yummy thing about the particular drowsiness I am having now is that it is rather easy to relish, like the itch of a wobbly tooth. You feel enveloped and deliciously sleepy. Oddly enough, I do not stop typing. In fact, it becomes easier to hear what the interviewees are saying, since my brain has stopped filtering and resisting the information and merely accepts it and sends it to my fingers. So, words that I might struggle to decipher and replay repeatedly in a more alert state, are easier to hear during PPT*. I wonder if this condition is comparable to the early stages of hypnosis?

*Although the skill of editing and rephrasing goes right out the window.

**********

In other news, I read that Matt Lucas, the rotund and hairless star of Little Britain, has bought a one million pound luxury pad in St John's Wood with his new husband. Will there be a sighting? Stay tuned.

**********
As promised, the Secret Life of Purses tag from Leilouta:



This is what I carry to work on a weekday in my soft Tula bag:

- Pashmina because the A/C is cold and a cardigan is not enough. I am like a lizard now, I wear lots of black so I can soak up extra warmth from the sunlight that comes through the window.

- Diary and favourite aluminium pen from Muji. If they stop selling refills I shall cry.

- Apple flavoured chewy Japanese sweets.

- Tissues, rarely used but when they are, very necessary.

- Pink leather Penhaligons travel card wallet (adorable with an extra back pocket).

- Big leather Hilfiger keyfob, easy to find with little digging (free in goodie bag at Christie's banquet).

- Ted Baker mentholated lip gloss (cold! - this will be fun in winter) and citrusy hand lotion.

- Never Too Busy to Be Beautiful lip tint (tastes like chocolate, but is very conditioning). With this and the gloss, my lips have never been softer than they are now.

- Cooling eyedrops. It would take years to finish so much.

- 4711 Eau de Cologne cooling scent stick and wipes.

- Brushed aluminium Body Shop folding mirror.

- New Sony Ericsson Walkman phone, old SE T610, and ear buds in little mesh bag.

- Fendi wallet and Pucci handkerchief

My bag is awesome. In addition to all of that, when the top is open it's like a bucket, to take the pashmina and a folded newspaper. It has a zipped pocket, a phone pocket and a bigger pocket, and the lining is cream flock. And on the handle is attached my Chinese jade "Love, Happiness and Double Celebration" charm. Bring on the Love!

[It took me a day to think of who to tag!....I tag Panda-Eyed, Tooners, Jia Li, Floatykatja, Lunaliar, Rebecca, Roxandra, and Merserene]

Guess who I saw...

...I got looked at by a princess today, but I shall leave that for last. You have to sit through these two first.

Actors I have seen on the streets of London in the last month - as usual, the ones nobody else recognises:

Julian Wadham, eyeing up some shirts in the Muji on Tottenham Court Road, where I was buying some stationery.
He usually plays aristocratic fellows in period dramas and is also very Shakespearean. He was in The English Patient. He attended Ampleforth at the same time as Rupert Everett. Julian and Rupert. Actually, they did witty dialogues together.

Kathryn Drysdale, with her boyfriend at the Waitrose I go to on Finchley Road. She was in Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps as annoying squeaky Louise, and in other minor series'.

**********

And finally, today I saw Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie, with their mother Sarah, the Duchess of York.

I was walking down Wimpole Street (Harley Street area for you non-Londoners) when I came upon a dark Jag parked with all the doors open and flanked by two drivers. I glanced in as I walked past and saw a girl bending over to get something out of her handbag on the floor.

It's wierd, the moment when you recognise someone you've barely seen - her mousy brown hair and her blunt profile instantly said to me "Princess Beatrice".

Fortunately, I was just going across the road to the museum in the British Dental Association HQ. So I hung about on the steps for a few minutes and then I saw another dark car draw up behind. They all got out and hugged, and at that point I was no longer thinking of who they were because I was doubting my eyes. Fergie is just a middle-aged lady with flat shoes and a handbag. She must be on sabbatical from Weight Watchers because she wasn't wearing make up and her flame red hair is fading to grey, and I bet she is more freckled than ever now. Of course her identity was confirmed when I saw the familiar stumping gait, as she and a bodyguard went a little way down the street, rang the bell and entered the building. After that, the car containing the princesses drove past and one of them looked at me.

So I got looked at by a Princess. :P

Coming upon a Royal incidentally is much cooler than coming across an actor because Royals are so sheltered.

Yes, of all the afternoons I could have chosen to go and see the accountant, and at that very moment, when I had already spent 15 minutes wandering around the area drinking my smoothie and reading the blue plaques because I was half an hour early for my appointment.

Panda Sneeze Shocker

To cheer up Panda Eyed:





**********

Or go here to read my P27 entry about Dark Water.