Update (short version)

I have written a long version to this update which I will share with you when this is all over, unless it just seems unnecessary and very old news by then.

In short I will say that neither reason nor the law have been enough to promote compromise, and Jeff is taking very good care of me, and has removed the situation from my hands almost entirely.

Last week I was inspired to create a quote:

Hope and optimism are the things that keep you looking past the present darkness

It is the sort of saying Jeff's maternal grandmother Amalie would have appreciated. She wrote a book of uplifting daily passages that I hope to finish reading sometime. It seems to run in the family, for he is never short of encouragement. Negativity is anathema to his way of life, and he follows a strong internal code of honor which is rarely seen in this day and age. It really puts me in mind of the knights of old, that is how strongly he is motivated to do the Right Thing.

I cannot get over how his capacious mind never stops creating, thinking, and considering things from every angle. Because not only does he stand on that reservoir of peace I mentioned last time, he also seems to create time with sheer willpower. He never says, "I can't". He almost always manages it, usually succeeds at whatever he puts his mind to, and never makes excuses on the rare occasions he doesn't accomplish something.

He is a Visionary I think, and when he envisions the future, I can see it too.

And then he goes and says, "But you know everything, Livvy." (When I said "I don't know" the other day to a question about the Atlantic Ocean. We were at Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, and I was pretty knocked out by sea air at the time, but I think now I feel an answer formulating somewhere in the back of my brain...)

I am also thankful for my job and my supportive colleagues (those who need to know); the environment of sanity that it provides; an escape from the tension of my situation at home.

Odd few days

Those of you on Facebook know I had a pizza incident but nothing more.


Brooklyn Pizza Pie - my undoing


Roomie and I ordered a veggie pizza on Friday night. I was expecting lots of melted cheese with a piece of broccoli on each and a sprinkling of spinach. But no, I opened the box and saw a jungle with undergrowth - every square millimeter was covered with green stuff an inch thick and the cheese was negligible. Shocking! The first few mouthfuls tasted fine, I felt righteous for eating broccoli (not usually my best green anyway because you never know what microbes are hiding between the florets), and there was fresh garlic on it, but I struggled to get halfway through the second slice. I may never eat broccoli again, and pizza will have to go a long way to win my affections back. Just the thought of that green stuff makes me queasy. So I had a rather unhappy tummy on Saturday and a little on Sunday too until I asked my roomie if she had any imodium - yes, ONE tablet left!

I thought the point of pizza was to eat melted cheese on a fairly thin crust, so next time that is what it will be. And if I have anything fancier it's going to be my old fave of Italian sausage and jalapeno pepper - the way I learned at CiCi's Pizza in Texas. Brooklynites are so fiercely proud of their "pizza pies" that you'd think it was invented here. Indeed, roomie had to give me a quick lesson in the local lingo before we ordered. The locals might call me a philistine if I order Papa John's in future (if there even is one in Bay Ridge) but I don't care.

I am fine now, but still haven't got my appetite back. Unfortunately today I felt precursor symptoms to - well, I hope I am not coming down with something. It is Arctic outside and when the air is cold and dry, viruses thrive. At first I thought I felt tired and buzzy because I was out in the cold this morning, or because I skipped breakfast, or because I carried heavy bags, but as the evening wears on I am growing suspicious...


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Meantime, Captain America is in town this week for work, so we had dinner and a movie last night. Obviously couldn't face the subway again this evening but even the offer of a taxi up there couldn't get me to budge out of the house.

I did a little bit of shopping this morning and had a rare New York Moment looking at people rushing around wrapped up, their breath like wreathes of smoke, commuters mixed with tourists, all the bright screens of Times Square battling valiantly against a sunny sky, frozen puddles at the curb, yellow taxicabs crawling everywhere and the street vents streaming steam into the frigid air.

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This weekend roomie and her friend put up the Christmas tree. I didn't join in because I was sleeping and feeling queasy, but also they're childhood friends and they know how to work this thing so I left them to it.

Nothing on the tree matches, but many ornaments are quirky, have a meaning, or are there for a reason. No doubt the Menorah under the coffee table will also go up for Chanukah :) She just likes Christmas trees too.






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When I was out today I found an ornament and it is now on the tree in honor of my return to the USA. The base is engraved UNITED WE STAND. It is silver plated and the flag is filled with champleve enamel.



I love it not only because it is patriotic but the eagle reminds me of my 7th grade entry in the North Texas French club competition (my first year here). I made a poster: in the background, all the notable flags of the world and in the center, a majestic Golden Eagle, shoulders draped in the Stars and Stripes under the title
SERVE YOUR COUNTRY: Learn a foreign language.

It won first place. You know it was the eagle draped in the flag that did it.

Finely Tuned

Oh, somebody get me out of here. I hate when this happens - it's like when a relationship ends. I have a slump, staying in for days at a time, essentially housebound. I have not left the house since....hm, let me think....probably Friday when I went out with the girls. Oh, no, I did take a walk by the water on Monday evening. Sure, I have a grocery list, but there's stuff in the freezer. I even have to make returns at some stores in the city, but there's time left on the receipts...

At least it's not so bad "slumping" in a city I like. Still, I am officially bored and disgusted with myself. I feel like I need to tell myself off, like a wayward child, or get someone in here to drag me out. I was going to go out today, but maybe I will do it tomorrow. Needless to say, my phone takes a vacation sometimes too. However, on Sunday I put on Handel's Messiah and loosened up my vocal chords for a few hours. It was the first time in about....oh, two years? Felt so good.

Of course, when these stay at home periods end, my first forays out into the real world hit my senses like a wave.

So, to the point. It's going to rain tonight. Today was somewhat overcast, fairly mild, and a breeze started up in the afternoon. As darkness fell the breeze picked up. It's not cold (18C (66F)), but it is refreshing. I stood on the steps with my sleeves rolled up, taking in lungsful of air, and I had one of my life moments...

Leaves rustling on the trees and clattering along the sidewalk.

Cozy yellow lamps and pumpkins on people's porches, and the streetlights casting pinkish hues over houses and cars.

Pale patches of cloud scudding across an indigo sky.

A church bell ringing a few blocks away, carried to my ears on the wind.

After a few minutes the spell was broken, but I had enjoyed the feeling.
Then I thought I would come back and share that moment with you.



A poignant image of St Christopher, bearer of Christ, at St Patrick's Cathedral