The Butterfly Effect

Thanks to the shingles I am out of commission, apparently all week - that is what my boss expects. And this morning my consultant at the agency warned me I could be out for up to 3 weeks. No way! I was hoping to be able to wear something more formal than pyjamas by the end of this week! But I don't know, some of it is right along the bra line. Evil. And water on the skin? Forget it.

I am unable to go to a friend's birthday this weekend. I'm not contagious, but I don't want anyone to worry.

Well, the throbbing, pinching pain is mostly gone this evening, but there is a rawness, and the itching is becoming much more intense; there was even a little spreading yesterday, but it's definitely slowed down. It is easy to keep my hands off, but compression and warmth help, and when my hand is there compressing, the temptation to maybe scratch round the edges of the gauze and tape is sometimes too much...then there is a sort of stupid lingering pain under the whole area.

Oh! Must take my midnight dose. High dosage tablets, five per day for a week (probably because it's so poorly absorbed by the body). It's not hard to forget when you have something so pervasive. I almost watch the clock.

This thing is so wicked...more so than the original chicken pox. If you've had that then you must try to avoid developing shingles, ok? Which means, keep down your stress levels and keep up your immunity.

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On to better things. I saw a movie the other night that we might enjoy discussing.

It's The Butterfly Effect.

First off, I am no fan of Ashton Kutcher. No, not even that, he's not even an issue. The actors in a movie don't influence whether I watch it or not, I'm not critical in that way. (I don't like Cameron Diaz but have watched There's Something About Mary twice.) But I must say, young Mr Kutcher did a good job in this.

It was a fascinating premise and one that obviously interests me as a psychology grad and a lover of some things sci-fi.

A psychology student called Evan (Kutcher) with a troubled childhood finds a way of travelling back in time and into the body of his childhood to certain events in his life via his journal entries. In this way, he is world-wise enough to tweak the main events that influence his life in order to improve the long-term outcome. After each episode he returns to the present but often with drastic changes, and he must undergo a fit during which his memories are rewritten and he suffers some hemorrhaging. However, each attempt is detrimental to his life and the lives of the people who are closest to him.

Depending on which event he tries to control, the outcomes are wildly varying and he goes further back each time to find the root problem.

The final solution means he must return to a day when he says something that turns the love of his life, Kayleigh, away from him forever. And only then do their lives take a normal path. Of all the variables, it had to be her.

Finally, Evan finds himself at the college dorm, roommates with the friend Kenny who in all other scenarios had been tied to a bed in a mental hospital, but who is now studying architecture. He experiences the hemorrhage...Kenny asks if he needs to see a doctor...he insists everything will be alright now, then asks "How's Kayleigh?"
And Kenny says, "Who's she?"

Sad, but triumphant, ending.

Some years later, working in NYC, Evan passes Kayleigh on the street. They glance at each other the way you do when you get the feeling you've seen someone somewhere before, except he knows who she is. She then looks back at him but keeps walking. Then he looks back too, but shakes his head and keeps going. He has chosen to keep the solution uncompromised.

I hope you find the time to watch it.

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Oh my gosh!! 'Tis getting worse. Please tell me not to scratch it!!!

Je suis bleue

I stuffed 580 envelopes today. It only took a couple of hours and then I was back to usual admin, but I think too much when I perform monotonous tasks like this. My mind runs into all sorts of thoughts.

Nearly 600 envelopes...!
I did not spend tens of thousands of dollars on my degrees for this!

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Took a nifty personality test the other day. Voila, my results:

Overview

Blues are composed and observant. Others trust them to see the whole
picture, and respect their judgement as a result. They are reflective,
and proud of the difference their mind can make. Thriving on the
challenge of new experiences, they push themselves to learn new skills
and take pride in what they do.

In the [...] these kind of people are relied upon as calm and
purposeful thinkers in vital behind the scenes roles as much as in
action. And in a world of increasing complexity they are needed more
than ever.

***

Your View of Your Life Now

You and your friends like to hang out together enjoying good food and
conversation. You respect each other's opinion - they are probably the
first port of call when you need advice. It seems that you are happy to
take control, you enjoy making decisions and discover new things.
Exercise to you is about much more than pounding on a treadmill. You
have a holistic approach to health and your well-being, and are more
comfortable with alternative forms of exercise that fit in with your
lifestyle. When you can you catch up with your nearest and dearest. You
love to talk and your friends mean a lot to you - you will always go to
them for advice. Given your choices you seem to appreciate creativity
or are even creative yourself. You have a distinctive view of the world
that you want to capture, you benefit from having a sharp and
discerning eye. You like the security of day-to-day routine, whilst
working in an environment that challenges and interests you. Ambition
is what drives you, and there are many paths you could take.

Your View of Your Future

Being free to explore the world is the freedom you appreciate most. You
are not ready to settle in one spot just yet - you want to go see and
experience as many cultures as you can. Spirituality is an essential
part of your character, you have a strong sense of morals and look for
guidance when you are in difficult situations. You can see yourself
reaching great heights. With a little perseverance and determination,
you’ll get there. You learn best by discovering things for yourself.
You like to be able to share knowledge, and get the results together.
You like to live life in the fast lane, and are always up for a
challenge. You fill your free time with risk-taking and excitement.
Satisfaction comes from being part of something distinctive and
innovative. Employers would value your dedication and passion for your
work. You are a high achiever and tend not to settle for second place.
You push yourself to be the best. In the next few years you'd like to
be on your way up. You've got a lot to offer and you look forward to
gaining some recognition. It’s good to know you can rely on the
unconditional love your best friend gives you. You can trust them to
lend a listening ear and support when you need it. Everyone sees you as
cool, calm and serene. Your balanced character is definitely an
attraction. There’s a part of you that’s keen to escape to un-chartered
territory. The mystery of the unknown is appealing to you, and with
your inquisitive nature, who knows where your next adventure will lead
you?