Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Grumping and stuff

I have just experienced the worst month in over two years, immediately after the best month in over two years, so not a nice change at all.

NOTHING, NOTHing, nothing, has gone right since the move.

1) I hate anywhere that is not St John's Wood/Finchley Road, and to rub salt in the wound, I am just off a St John's Road and see the sign every time I look off the balcony. Maybe next I should be taking St John's Wort to improve my mood....

2) This is where ALL the obnoxious teenagers in Greater London live.

3) My mother and I are not as close as we once were and have had to find neutral ground in order for me to stop biting her head off every time she says anything. We're settling now. It's been 5 years since we lived together.

4) ...going a bit pear-shaped with American Boy, who overreacted to my overreaction one day last week...I should not have done what I did, and he should not have taken it that badly. Why do guys always take things the wrong way when they are sick? And then he got sick again on the weekend due to working too hard to make up for the original sick days...And now he's just moved apartment too.

5) Indeed I have been under an immense amount of long-term medium- and low-level stress and pretty much snapped last week.

6) I would like to try therapy now, please.

7a) The chest of drawers was delivered with two left sides and IKEA now has to exchange and pickup. Also waiting an indeterminate time for the corner cabinet to be delivered, as well as the doors to the bookcase.
7b) We paid £16 for a taxi to IKEA and £20 for a taxi home, and are not going back in a hurry.

8) The broadband is still not up as you know, so are they waiting until the end of day 15 to do it?
9) Dialup sucks bigtime, and pay as you go is worse, but I am fed up of being offline and am spending a fortune, but I don't care anymore.

10) The shiny new Samsung TV has a faulty digital tuner and we can't get Freeview, and the 5 terrestrial channels, if we even have that many, are of poor quality and boring. John Lewis also has to do a drop-off and pickup exchange.

The things that have gone well so far:

1a) The assembly guys got all the rest of the furniture assembled, but it took 7 hours and I was so fed up of the hammering and drilling, and people in the house that I felt sick when they left.
1b) My mother was wonderful and put all my clothes away for me in one day.

2) I sent out about 5 or 6 job applications this weekend, got one response. Have an interview Wednesday afternoon for an editorial assistant position, coincidentally at the same place Panda-Eyed works! But different division, she's in science, I'd be in arts.

3) Mum said we might try to move back down to the SJW/Finchley Road area at the end of this contract, since I am a miserable, miserable sod up here in Harrow. I miss the Jubilee line and hate the Metropolitan. It is NEVER 16 minutes to Baker Street, the lying toads.
So she said we can keep an eye out on property listings. (I for one will be sneaking in looks at job listings in the US, too, but don't tell anyone...)

4) My shiny laptop recovered itself, fortunately. I made DVD backups as soon as all was stable once more. Blue screen of death on my new laptop? No way! I also made first use of my LightScribe writer to label them. One small label took 16 minutes, though.
The BSD occurred every time I plugged in my WinTV with Freeview dongle, darnit, just when I thought I'd found a solution to the dearth of things to watch on fuzzy terrestrial. So I suppose I need a new graphics driver or something...that's what the blue screen said...

Yes, this is Olivia, not just depressed, but somewhat in pieces. God I need a holiday, a hug, a therapist, a million dollars, you name it...


The Moody Minstrel said...

Alright, everybody...we need to organize a joint cyberhug for Olivia. What would be a good GMT time for us all to join in?

Lucid said...

The beauty of a cyberhug is that it hangs around until next time the hugee logs on:

Mick's Page said...

Hi Olivia.
Oh dear, Oh dear, Oh dear - you do sound so down in the dumps, so unlike you to be like that, you’re normally a happy lady, and Oh yes I know, for I have been following your blog now for sometime but never placed a comment before.

I agree with the great Moody Minstrel, well all most, a joint cyberhug, yes A OK on that but I prefer a individual cyberhug one.

Lets all get to get together for a ‘Cheer You Up Olivia’ cyber party?

Anytime for a party I say.

MattJ said...

1)St John's wood does look nice but Good 3) could mitigate the badness by giving you opportunity to go to SJW looking for places

2)Try picturing them in uncomfortable positions - I usually involve spikes, jam and fire ants in these visions - remarkably cheering

3)Moving back with the rents is always hard, on the plus side - Good 1b) and Good 3) - also food will never deplete.

4) This makes little sense to most of us but one thing we can all agree on - the more fit the man, the bigger arse he is when with sniffle - he'll be fine and dandy when back to full health, even if he does wear khakis.

5&6)Any decreased stress from therapy will be increased by the ludicrous sums of money they charge that keeps them in home knit jumpers. I suggest posh food instead.

7) IKEA would be perfect with online ordering, other than that they revel in other people's pain and frustration. I suggest a ritual turning into kindling of something you don't really need that is from IKEA.

8&9)see my email!
10) Big TVs are made for consoles - buy a Wii then you don't need Telly! :)


There, all your problems fixed. I'm a genius, now you can be happy and stress free. As for the good stuff, know anywhere half decent for men's tailoring? I suspect I will be in charge of the Groom's suit at the wedding I am attending as he has the fashion sense of Albert Einstein.

amillionpieces said...

Olivia! :( I'm so sorry to hear that its been such a tough time in the new place, I hope it gets better soon for you. Once you get used to it you may find nice points you never noticed.



nikkipolani said...

Oh, Liv, I'm so sorry this has been such a wretched month for you. But hopefully, things will settle down a bit, you'll be back in stride with your mum, and broadband will get you reconnected again.

Castle of Stink said...


Um Naief said...

moving is a life changing event. it causes so much stress, especially when you realize it isn't where you want to be, and then you have a contract on top of it! and i can imagine the difficulty in getting reacquainted w/ ur mom. i'm sure if i lived w/ my mother, we'd have some issues. i love her, but after so long, i need a break.

i think a good therapist would help. always remember that healthy ppl get help. i personally talk to one and it helps a great deal and has gotten me thru some rough patches.

i hope the job pans out. sometimes it takes a while to find your niche.

as far as american guy goes... yeah, guys can be terrible when they're sick. maybe he's feeling the stress of not seeing you a lot and then w/ his job... so it makes it all doubly worse. i hope i all works out... but if not, then it wasn't meant to be.

things will get better... always remember there's a rainbow after every storm... and this shall pass. hopefully sooner rather than later.

if i was there, i'd give you a bear hug!! and so would naief! ;) and i'm sure he'd give you little baby kisses!

btw, how's ur cousin's baby?? is she getting big and adorable? i think she's around the same age as naief!

i'm glad to see you back here.. i missed your blogging.

Ned Hughes said...

It's good that you listed the good that had happened. I'm sure you could find a therapist. Call around a bit, if you're on a budget. There are a few out there who will reduce their rates for financial hardship.

Anonymous said...

Oh dearest, HuG. I have never seen you so tangled up with so many worries. HuG. You poor thing. HuG. I wish I could help out somehow. HuG. HuG. HuG. Igot it: you need to come back to Houston!!!!! :)))))))))) HuG HuGs.....
Hope everything works out. HuGs. Bisous. Hugs.

lunaliar said...

Livvy! I read that you had someone else assemble your IKEA goodies and I then had to pick my jaw up off the floor. Dave and I, of course with the help of his father, assembled the following:

two glass-door bookcases
one coffee table
one entertainment bench
two dressing chests
one queen size bed
one organizer chest

It may have been boring and repetitive but it felt like a huge accomplishment, and my right arm is now ridiculously strong from turning a screwdriver so many times!

Also, if you find something in the U.S. that strikes your fancy, know that if you live abroad w/ dual citizenship you're a shoo in. Thought I'd put it out there!!!


Mikeachim said...

Oh dear...

A thoroughly rotten and disillusioning time had.

And I'd imagine if you had moved to somewhere you were happy with, it would make it much more bearable.....instead of exacerbating the problems.

Oh dear, again.
I hope everything irons itself out and life makes much more sense, very soon....

AmitL said...

Hey,welcome back...so much happening,and,u've described it so well.Hope the irritant parts vanish soon and you're back to blogging with a vengeance,so to speak.:)LOL at obnoxious teenagers of Greater London..elaborate a bit,pls-u do mean,'filthy rich,spoilt brats'?And,yes,I shifted to http://amitsmusings.blogspot.com.Welcome any time to visit.:)

ML said...

Olivia - BIG HUG from me!

Even though you listed the bad things, I was so impressed that you could see the good things too and list them.

Hang in there and things will get better.

Olivia said...

Minstrel - hehe, you see I have received many hugs, and as Lucid says, they hang around. I can even come back for more next week! thank you for taking the initiative, though.


Lucid - welcome, and a very nice way of putting it, thank you.


Mick - thank you for commenting. You've just reminded me that I was unable to throw a housewarming party before my mother came over.


Matt - when a few of them were shouting down the road piss drunk last night, I did indeed picture them on spikes.

I have not enjoyed food since the week before moving, so posh food is a bit of a waste at the moment. Also, I am getting home cooked food now.

Men's tailoring? I can only think of places in Mayfair that shall remain unnamed. If I try harder, does Moss Bros do tailoring?


Pete - today both mother and I felt pretty rotten about the whole thing...but if I pep talk myself out of this every time I am tempted to grump, it may improve.


Nikki - I told a friend today that I think it was an entire year's stress condensed into two months.


Castle - welcome, and thank you!


Um Naief - I love your comments, and would love baby kisses! As for American Boy, well apparently I felt worse than I should have, and he was surprised I thought he was still mad at me. However, it does get worse, only in another way. He's being sent away in a couple of weeks :(

Baby Jada is exactly 5 months old today (the 1st), and she is beginning to hold her bottle all by herself. I should put up some pics when I get faster.


Ned - welcome. Thank you for the pointers. Over here, I think there are therapists available on the National Health Service, though private practitioners are available of course.


Vanessa my dear, I knew that once you started to mention Houston you would not stop :)
I was so tempted today I tell you!


Luna - I know, I know. I chafed at the thought that in the past I have assembled all sorts of furniture myself, including our last entertainment center, and yes I am proud of that and am usually very excited about a bit of manual work, BUT Mum and I were soooo very tired that we couldn't be arsed...Seriously. Neither of us are in a good frame of mind at the moment.

You know, thanks to Matt's Houston-bound blog, I ended up at UST's website and I have to admit I looked at the job site, and found about 4 I could apply to with ease...


Mike - indeed, it does help to be happy in the home as you seem to be in yours. It is a nice place, but I feel exiled somehow. I just need to keep working on my attitude and I will eventually like it.


Amit - filthy rich spoilt brats? No, these are chavs. Have you ever heard of them? If you Google that term, you will find out soon enough! They are the bane of Britain.


ML - thanks for the hug. And now you point it out, considering how rotten I felt, I don't know how it occurred to me to list the good stuff!

Beenzzz said...

I hope you get all the stuff you've wished for. Sorry you're havinga rough time right now. At least you have a list of positive things too. That's always a good sign. Hang in there!

Selba said...


The Moody Minstrel said...

thank you for taking the initiative, though.

Yeah, well...I tried to take the initiative...but got almost completely ignored!!!! Gee, THANKS, people!!!! (Harrumph!) I'll just go stick my head in the toilet and flush three times now, OKAY???

You're welcome, m'lady. I hope everything's better now.

Still, even if it hangs around till the "hugee" logs on, a cyberhug without the heart and spirit behind it at the time is still mostly just text on the monitor. Or not. Whatever.

Olivia said...

Beenzzz - I almost cannot believe I am in my current situation. It is one of my worst. All I can do is keep breathing.


Selby - thanks *hug*


Minstrel - hehehe, don't know if you meant to, but you did make me laugh reading that today :)
Thank you again!

Everything is not better, it is somewhat sadder as the boy is being reassigned in a couple of weeks.

Nabeel said...

Well I don't get the first point you mention .. and I think I can feel your pain when you say obnoxious teenagers living and hanging out, it's just ridiculous. Well there's an old jewish saying, choose your neighbor before you choose the house.

And well the list keeps on going here ... so sorry about all this .. the thing that makes me upset is the faulty tv .. dangitttt.

Nabeel said...

And well i have to say , it is kinda sad that you don't have a good relationship with your mother, sad on your end.

QUASAR9 said...

lol St John's Wort to change (or enhance) the mood.
Some things we cannot change, but surely every cloud has a silver lining, if we look at the things that please us (no matter how small) in any move, instead of focusing on those which irritate us

Let's face it wherever we move we can find things to annoy us - it is just that in some places we notice them less. The same with a lover, when we are besotted we can see no wrong, yet when the sparkle has worn off - we can see no right.

programmer craig said...

Glad to see you back on the blog, Olivia!

My only advice for all the things that are making you grouchy is to just try to keep your head until you get settled in! Changes cause a lot of stress and it sounds like you've had a lot in a short period. Things will seem different (and hopefully better!) after this period passes.

hoverFrog said...

Of the things that you want I can offer a hug and the general advice of avoiding IKEA as you would the house of a plague victim.

Olivia said...

Nabeel - it sounds really bad now that you mention it. We are getting along now, but there is a little distance.
We realised this morning why we are both so sad deep down, it's becuase the last time we lived together, our family was a unit and we were happy, so now we are constantly reminding each other of the life we once had. A lot has happened in 5 years, you see. Plus we are under a lot of stress at the moment.


Quasar - thank you for your encouragement, and welcome to my blog.

Regarding the move, I refer you to my comment above to Nabeel.


Craig - welcome back.
I know, gosh, just this morning I woke up and said, "Will anything go right ever again?" especially as more things went wrong this afternoon.


Froggie - the furniture we got is nice, but it was a trial getting things right. Now we find that the charming corner cabinet we ordered is no longer out of stock, but discontinued! So we have to either get a refund or choose something else.

We would have never been caught dead with IKEA a few years ago, coming from a 4 bedroom house filled with antiques (!), but setting up a new flat in our current situation, it was nearly the only option...

Christopher said...

Darling if you're getting depressed, get some Lamictal (a mood stabilizer...) you'll feel fine and blues be gone! Thanks for coming by and saying hello the other day...I've been keeping myself entertained with pointless entries on the page, but wanted to let yoy know you have oodles of hugs sent your way...xoxoxo

Christopher said...

I often wonder also what kind of cocktails we would have? Your behaviour is so good and so introspective, and I'm as much a nutter is Lindsay Lohan, minus the Chanel bag and the arrests. Your blog always makes me smile, and you being just gorgeous doesn't hurt matters any at all. You know how fags are...needing gorgeous women around to worship and gossip about...I blogged about a survey and also I wrote about gay marriage...am curious as to your opinion on the issue. xoxo

Olivia said...

Kissyfur! So happy to see you here.

Thanks for the advice, indeed something needs to be done, as both mother and I have felt since the divorce that we need some counseling or something. I used to be more resilient before that.

I did try to come by your blog a few times since you wrote the new posts, but it would get stuck on the loading so I could never get the comments links up. (I am still on dialup.)

We'd have lots of yummy cocktails and shots, and don't worry - a few of my friends are nutters too. I've played Snakes and Ladders with shots, you know. With those nutter friends ;)

Thank you for coming by and cheering me up ever so much!