I suppose it's time for a new post. I can't wait until the day when I can share good news with you again, like how fantastic everything was in June, remember? *sigh*
I woke up this morning and said to my mother, "When will anything ever go right again?"
Have reached the end with American Boy. He is being sent away next week, and that is all I can say.
I am very sad as he was the best guy I ever dated, the only one to make me feel comfortable just being myself. The most attentive, the most affectionate, the cheekiest. And sooo cute. I will miss a lot about him, like his voice and that irresistible accent. He was the perfect height for me, and ever so fit, and ever so hottt.
We traversed so much of London together that it will take a long time before I can even look at most of the city without feeling shite. That always happens to me when a relationship ends, but this time it will be worse. Plus, listening to Muse already makes me blue because I introduced him to them.
Oh dear :'(
Am I glad I met him for the intense happiness, or sorry for the brevity of it? Both. I knew it would be shorter than I would have liked, but when you embark on something good, the end always looks further away than it really is. No, it wasn't perfect, but it was the best so far, and I have nothing bad to say.
I remember when I was badly dumped a couple of years ago by someone I had dated for a few months. I wrote something like, "Today I lost a lovely guy and cried a river."
I have bottled up so much stress over the past month - my gran, the move, the disasters, the expense, the growing pains, and now this...I can feel that the tears are near the surface, but they won't come so easily this time...and they need to, very much.
Yesterday as I was sitting in my room after my shower, feeling very sorry for myself, the phone rang. It was out of the blue, a fellow Brit I had met at university in Houston. We both returned to the UK around the same time, but she went on to Tanzania this year where she is working in banking, and is so much happier than she was here (of course). She said she has a knack for calling her friends when they need her, and indeed she made my day with her effusion of warmth and encouragement. She said she had encountered a girl at work with my voice and accent and she thought, "Gosh, I must call Livvy."
Let's see, there are things to look forward to, though I still feel sad as I type them:
-- a BBQ with my nutty friends, let's hope it's warmer out than the last one
--a trip to the seaside with the same friends before the end of summer, again hoping for good weather
-- also my fave fish n chips in Richmond with them, though huge sinking feeling as I consider that because it was my first whole day out with American Boy
-- the Aussie housemoving party at the end of the month, though why they don't wait for a housewarming one is beyond me
-- visiting friends of my father after they move into our old house, and getting some of the antiques which they have kept in storage for us since we first left the UK (!)
-- going to a dinner put on by my old schoolmate who lives round here
-- catching up with my housemates in St John's Wood
-- my goddaughter's christening in Toronto and seeing Denise in NYC
-- and whatever things happen in between