Friday, December 02, 2005

Chip Chop and Hodyssey

Went to the hairdresser's today. I decided the length was sufficient and I wasn't going to grow it more and start losing weight to feed it, parasite that it is.

Seriously, I lose enough hair in two days to supply another person. I eat for two. I should sell it for wigs. Etc.

So anyway, I told her I liked the length, and I wanted some shape now, get rid of the bottom and graduate it. Think 1920s-30s. "Typical Olivia!" I hear half of you exclaim.

Indeed, even at its shortest it was like the Eton Crop, adopted by women in 1926:

Last time she cut my hair, summer had barely started. She was shocked at what it looks like long(ish). After she'd trimmed about a bit, it looked swept and romantic, sort of like this:

Then she got out the brush and blow-dried it straight, all around my head. Told her I looked like a mushroom - but she needed to do it to see where else she needed to cut. And then! And then! She straightened my hair! She took one of those ceramic hair-ironing things to MY head! To quote Bertie Wooster, "I mean to say, what?!"

I know, we had agreed to straighten it a bit to see what it would be like. I sat there stroking the smoothness of it...Straight hair, like what other people have!

She went around chipping and snipping, and then styled it with moulding wax. So now I look like this:

It's a bit hard-looking, and I want a softer edge. Oh yeah, and she moved my parting to the other side (???) What's that for?

Well, after pushing it back from tickling my forehead (drove me bonkers), and after it got blown and wet in the rain....still straight...can't wait till I wash it and get me pretty curly-wurlies back :P


Freshly shorn and walking to the station, I realised I needed to go, so I nipped into Harrods (to use the loo) and didn't even try to find the Krispy Kreme shop. Not that I could if I'd tried.
Never go to Harrods. You will not find what you seek. You will get lost in the labyrinthine departments, and the Sphinx in the Egyptian hall will eventually claim your soul.

Actually, there are people wearing gold Information sashes who are supposedly well-qualified to direct you so after going in a few circles I asked one. After a long slog up the escalators and about half a mile later, I ended up in one of the Luxury Toilets (it announced loudly on a brass wall plaque). An attendant stands by a table of perfumes and hand lotions, and motions you towards the next available cubicle. Quelle metier!

While I was upstairs I thought I might as well look for Christmas cards. Despite following the signs, another lady and I got lost on the way. To be expected, of course.

Another thing about Harrods apart from being impossible to navigate and full of tourists cluttering the exits and every possible walkway: Service is nearly unobtainable, busy or not, and the card section was surprisingly un-busy. I stood there waiting beside a mother and daughter while they paid for their purchases. There were a couple of people hanging about by the counter. One of the more managerial-looking assistants helped out, then she proceeded to help the hangabouts and I piped up with, "Wait, what about me, I've been here for ages." She started to protest about helping the other people, and I said, "Yes but how long have they been there?"
While I paid up, I grumbled audibly: "Now I remember why I never come to Harrods. I never get served...!"

Honestly, my most vivid memories of the place in recent years is of standing about indefinitely with tea caddies and chocolate bars that I start to not want because you can't get served.

But I will enthusiastically mention the mini ice rink they have in one of the windows, where a skater dressed in a little Santa-style frock was performing. Actually it was rather naff. I don't know how the place can redeem itself in my mind. Although, seeing the floors labelled "By Appointment Only" and "Concierge Service" and the various cafes and restaurants, I can see how some people would enjoy living it up in that place. No thanks.

Well there you go, as with McDonald's, I have now made my bi-annual visit. Next year I shall slash my attendance by half.

It should be called Horrids.


Jason said...

Hey, I like the new hairstyle. It can be fun experimenting with them. Just promise me you wont follow in Vera's footsteps (wink).

Rox said...

Am sorry you don't like Harrods. Along with Harvey Nicks it's my temple of worship. But after all these years I do know my way around and I never go either Friday or Saturday when the tourists flock there to gawk and stand in passage ways. The food-halls are a dream come true and I want to wallow in all the choices they have! As for no service... hmm that can be a problem at times yes. It helps of course that I am so very large... I am hard to ignore ;o)
I like the hair cut. Seems softer than what I remember you with at Christie's. :o)

Olivia said...

Jason! Welcome back, and thanks ;)
Now then, Vera's very *different* to most people, I could never do that!

FYI our friend Vera shaved all her hair off one year. Like Demi Moore. She gets away with these things because she is an artist with the temperament to match.

Rox - when I was growing up, my mother used to shop there a lot. It was much nicer 20 years ago. Since moving back to London, I've been there a few times and I don't like how it has changed.

Yes, my hair was sharp and short then, as it has been since 1998. Now that I know my wild hair *can* have length at the top, I will work with that.

jiali said...

ood, Harrods reminds me of that sitcome are you being served?

Remember it?

Anonymous said...

wow, olivia with straight hair!?!?!?!? It looks nice!

Is that why we never went to Harrods?


M. said...

The curls are adorable but the straight cut looks good, too! Not everyone can pull off a short cut like that. You can still have it curl at the current length if you want it to, no?


MattJ said...

Hair's lookin good, just reminded me mine is geting a little unruly. Well, it's always unruly but now it's too long and unruly! lol!

I've never been to Harrods, I think it's all those 'Ladies of a certain age' you see wandering about with Harrods carrier bags like they are some kind of status symbol. Even if they are only carrying their ready meals in them. These people can always be foun doing their food shopping in M&S and invariably are one of the Beige people I have discussed before.

Olivia said...

Jia Li - you know, I had never made the correlation...And yes, I do remember Are You Being Served? It is ever so popular on PBS over in the USA. Do you pick up PBS in Nfld? In Ontario they receive the one from Buffalo, NY.

Vanessa - I never took you there? Well it is truly worth at least ONE visit, so this will have to be remedied next time you are here. Nudge nudge.

Merserene - thanks! I can do it because I have what my landlady describes as a "timeless, pixie face".

My friend Jeff said whereas before I looked Mediterranean, with the new style I look French. Like his ex, but he said that before anyway.

Since washing it the curls are sort of back, but as she used a relaxing balm with the ceramic tongs, there is still some straightness in the structure of my hair.

Matt - thanks! Haha, I know, those beige women with the Harrods bags. They visit every now and then just to collect a new one. And if they upgrade, it's to using a big shiny PVC Harrods bag that they bought there!

Anonymous said...

you look very different with straight hair - I thought you looked French as well (before I read the comment). Vive la difference...

Olivia said...

Let me add that I don't care if men like long hair, there is no way I can grow it again. I can't let it pass my ears, for once it does, it will become an independent entity.

AnonAnon - what you saw with the head scarves was the awful in-between stages of growing short hair out to a medium length.
Now it's over...

Rebecca said...

HA HA HA, Rox you crack me up!!

James said...

You look worryingly like my friend with your new haircut (she claims).