Saturday, February 18, 2006

Ponder this...

I'm just about to get ready to go out, but whilst checking my email, I spotted an article on MSN which begins:

Do you sometimes feel a little like Hamlet, wondering aloud, "To date or not to date...?" Do you get depressed when a new guy is either a dud or just not that into you? Do you spend a lot of time wondering when your one and only is finally going to appear? If you answered yes to these questions, then maybe you should embrace the concept of dating around, especially if recent experiences have left you feeling as tormented as Shakespeare's Danish prince. [my italics]

Want to read more?

Why Women Should Date Around (It will open in a new window)

And discuss...

(When I come back I'll blog about the Christie's reception and the jazz at Boisdale.)


Jia Li said...

hey babe, sounds like an idea for you, But I warn u it can backfire on u, cause some guys like to think they can date around but you can't! Thats happened to me a few times, its worst when they all know each other...eeek. Then u go from three to zero.

but dating a few doesn't hurt. If it works out, then its ok, if it doesn't work with one, you still got the others.

Olivia said...

I see dating one at a time as a sign of respect for him, but hey, if he doesn't then it is unfair and so why should I?

It won't be easy - whatever I choose to do, it will never be easy.


Prerona said...

Hey Girl! I just loved this one 'Banish “bad-girl” thoughts' - lol :)

I agree; in concept; but in reality, its not as easy. maybe its just a matter of 'yet'

Sometimes you just dont feel like playing the field. Cz u know what you want. I think it works for both boys and girls. Also, its like making friends. Some people just go out there and make a lot of friends. They are friendly with everyone and some stick. Some people dont make friends easily. Some people dont like people that easily so they feel its kind of pointless to go thru the excercise unless they see someone they know theres some chance of them liking ...

lol. always rambling on! yup! thats me ;)

M. said...

That's a cheesy twist on Shakespeare. :D

You don't need to keep a "herd" though. You can just go through them fast enough in succession! Have you ever tried speed dating?


Steliano Ponticos said...

I really liked the analogy with gambling. The person who wrote this has strange memories from her math classes..

Rebecca said...

The thing is though that there is no formula, there is no correct strategy for dating. You can't force yourself into a dating "scheme"; if it doesn't come natural then chances are that any "akwardness" (?) will come across. And if you're not being yourself 100% then you just will never find "the guy".

I generally am for the general "dating" thing: take the chance to meet guys, to go on dates, even meet a few wrong ones. It's a chance to "practice", just in the sense that you get used to relating to men, you start to learn what you don't like, you discover things that you do like, and so on. But the main thing is to not be trying to do something that you don't want to do or does nto come naturally. Do not force yourself to date around, don't feel like you need to have 3 men at the time, date who you want, when you want.

There is no manual for this thing.

Olivia said...

Prerona - I love ramblers, say whatever you like! I'm guilty of it myself so...

But it can be frustrating gathering a bevy of "friends" in your wake. It's a relief that only the best of them have stuck so far :)

I am absolutely not a field player. I dated 3 in one week once and hated it. It feels so mercenary and exploitative.

Mers - but cheesy twists make yummy snacks ;)

Speed dating? Oh the horror, the horror. It might be fun though, I just don't have the nerve to sign up and walk in. Have you ever tried it?

Steli - you poor boy, as if we haven't spent enough time on this over at Michelle's!

Rox said...

I agree with Rebecca. Don't force yourself into something that goes against the grain. But also don't put too much pressure on yourself and the guy by dating only him. As the article says it's putting all your eggs in one basket. Besides dating several guys at once doesn't mean you have to give any of them anything beyond possibly a peck on the cheek. Taking the pressure off of you will probably let you find the right guy more easily than if you go into dates with too many expectations and hopes. Commitment doesn't and cannot come with the first few dates. Remember just cause you go out with a guy doesn't mean you owe him anything at all.

Olivia said...

Oh Rebecca - I didn't see your comment. You are right, there is no formula and I can only be myself. I can only like what comes naturally, can't force myself to like something that doesn't ring true...BUT I am well aware that compromising is important and have no problem doing so in order to not lose an important experience.

Rox - and the other well known benefit to not dating one is that it makes you a little bit inaccessible, which makes them want to pursue you more.

Why does it have to be so hard?

Rox said...

Totally! Men as hunter gatherers and all that.
As for it being hard... Gosh, I do know it can be at times. But it is really true that it will happen when you least expect it and when you are not actively looking for it. I know this hardly originates with me and it doesn't make things easier but that is what happened to me. I met the boyfriend before Nick at a ball. I went there with the clear purpose to obviously have a good time but also to flirt like heck with this guy I had known for a few years. But instead I met someone else and bingo. Ok it didn't last long (4 or 5 months) but it was intense and great for the time it did last. And with Nick it was like that too. I saw him a few times just casually cause I thought he is sweet and nice but he hardly swept me off my feet. But then over time I realised that he is the best thing that ever happened to me and that love had crept up on me. :o)

M. said...

LOL at the yummy snacks comment. :D

No, I've never tried speed dating, as it's a relatively recent invention and I haven't been single in a long while. Think of it this way: Everyone else would be in the same boat as you.