Thursday, August 11, 2005

(Help!) and a Poem

Earlier this evening I thought I'd lost my inspiration, my muse (I didn't know I had one until I lost it). Now...
Well, for the past few days I've been feeling invisible.
What people say (words) - or do not say (silence) - is draining my self-confidence.

You all know I don't like to burden you with anything, so I apologise. I've just deleted half of the rant I had written...
But I miss the Olivia that I was at the beginning of the summer, before I left my internship.

**********

I now wish I could delete the entire top section, but I also value honesty.

I Need:

0. A Job
1. To see all the friends I miss
2. A good old fashioned belly laugh
3. To get down everything that's up in the air

**********

I promise I didn't plan this, but I've reached the page in my poem book that fits today's mood. (After this, I only have 3 left!)
It was written in 1998, after a few years of unrequited love...

You shine like a star,
but distance dims the light.
You offer me words,
but I cannot see your face.
I listen to your voice,
but I cannot hear your heart.
I reach for your hand,
but I find it withdrawn.

So I watch and I wait and I wish...

That I might bask in the glow of your love,
Gaze into the depths of your eyes,
Feel the warmth of your heart
And place my hand in yours.

So I watch and I wait and I wonder...
When will that day come?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

hey are you okay? don't tell me you are sad too. what can i do to help?

moonglow

Jason said...

Wow, this is very sad. I didn't know you lost a muse. And how are you different from this summer?

About the last post, I thought you'd like to know that I saw Supergrass live. They opened for Radiohead and I got to be right up front against the stage. Great show. I could have almost reached out and touched the singer and bass player. That was at the Woodlands Pavillion.

I hope you feel better soon! See you later - j.

Olivia said...

Moonglow - thanks for being here; I'm glad you're back, and I just value your friendship ;)

Jason - I guess you never saw me feeling down at UST. Not my usual bubbly self, that's all.
Radiohead and Supergrass at the Pavilion? I miss that place.
Don't forget to send those NASA pics.

Caesura said...

((((((((Olivia))))))))) Here's a hug for you my friend. I'm wishing you everything on your list and a whole lot more :) Your friend - Hopalong C

Olivia said...

Caesura - *thank you*

Anonymous said...

oh Olivia, I pray this sadness will pass by quickly. And here is another hug:
(((((((olivia)))))))))))
(caesura, I hope you don't mind I borrowed your idea).
Vanessa

Olivia said...

Thank you V - hopefully a real hug next month!!! Just don't cut off my air supply.